We always tend to fall in love and see the whole thing in rose-colored eyeglasses. It is common for people to think that love is merely a product of serendipity. Truth is, healthy dating relationships do not just happen by chance, you have to create and nurture it.
The first and most important ingredient of healthy dating relationships is love and respect. It will all start with these two seemingly vague but real concepts. When you love someone, you will do anything that it takes you to keep your relationship stronger than ever. Your respect for each other will keep you from doing something that will eventually hurt the other person. You will try to be the best person you can, not just for yourself but also for your partner.
Always striving for goodness will eventually lead to gaining your partner’s trust in you. Trust is also an integral concept in healthy dating relationships. The relationship will be useless if you will always think that the other person does not treat you the way you should be treated behind your back. You should never go into a relationship if you’re not sure and willing to trust the other person. But with trust comes the virtue of honesty. If you are not as honest yourself, then you can never expect people to trust you. One instance can go a long way when it comes to the other person’s perception of who you really are. It is hard to give out trust because people can’t seem to follow this best policy.
It is not difficult to always tell the truth specially if the relationship has the right ambiance for it. What else could create healthy dating relationships but an ambiance of open communication? If a couple takes time to talk about the relationship and themselves, then there would be no reason to be dishonest. Hidden motives and emotions have to be expressed eventually because you can’t do anything about it unless you let it be known. Our partners are not clairvoyant. Not even the best psychologist can tell what exactly a person is thinking. Instead of taking the burden by yourself, tell it and you’ll see how both of you can get pass trials as long as you are in it together.
With communication also comes accountability. Taking responsibility on how the relationship is going is the noblest way to maintain healthy dating relationships. Any kind of relationship is a two-way stream. You have to always keep in mind that both of you are people who are vulnerable to mistakes. Too much pride is the antagonist to healthy dating relationships. Once you learn to communicate with each other and take responsibility of what the relationship is becoming then rest assured that you can get pass any obstacle that are yet to come.
But always remember that even if you are together, you are still two different individuals before you met. People who are hopeless romantic will often say that once you are in a healthy dating relationship you will feel that you and your couple are finally united as one. That is a very problematic thought and will only lead you to trying to weigh your partner based on your own standards thinking that the way your partner thinks has to be the way that you do as well. Always remember that although the two of you met because you have the same activities, profession, hobbies and interests, you still are different individuals with different needs. And I am not just saying this in terms of gender. The thing is no one is exactly compatible which means that in healthy dating relationships, there should not be any law of equivalent trade. You can’t give the other person the same kind of loving that you expect for yourself simply because you have different needs, you have different levels of satisfaction, you have different ideas and beliefs about love. The most important thing about it is to support each other by understanding your individuality and living with it. But that does not mean compromising your own individuality for the sake of your partner. Remember that if he or she can’t give you the same respect, then you might reconsider the relationship. Are you still willing to compromise all the time and still you feel like you are not getting what is rightfully yours in return? Then that will be the choice you have to make. Healthy dating relationships after all must not be a power struggle between both parties. It’s all about making a choice and your willingness to stand up for it. It all starts with love and as cheesy as it may sound, it shall end with love. That’s your not-so-secret ingredient.